Looking Into My Sole

Starting with the first assignment of the first acting class, it became clear that this semester is going to be all about physicality - something that I know I will enjoy working on, not only because it is one of my goals as an actor, but also because it impacts how I relate to my body and how I feel whenever I use it (which would be whenever I'm not unconscious). I picked Taylor out of the hat, and although I don't have any classes with her except acting, I was able to observe enough of her movements for the acting class to get it on the second guess. Her walk was a little difficult; I think she centered her weight around her hips but honestly it was really difficult to tell, especially because I couldn't stare at her or she would know. The most telling positions were when she was sitting - with her legs directly beneath her, or splayed off to the side - and those are the positions that, after I performed them in class, Taylor later said she identified with.

I spent a great deal more time watching the man who sells Pitt gear on the corner of Forbes and Bigelow on our second assignment. I picked him because he was standing outside (where I could watch him from lots of different angles) and he was always on his feet, giving me a good sense of his movements and where he placed his weight. I noticed several things about him that I tried to emulate in Wednesday's class:

• His pacing. This was the very first thing I noticed. He tended to walk forwards, and then backwards, turning slightly as he did so, and always placing his heel down first. Placing the heel down first slowed his movements and gave me a sense that he was choosing each step, although I doubt he was - but his movements indicated so.
• Subtle hand movements. A few things he repeated were to pull up his pants (I don't think he was wearing a belt), scratching his nose and chin, and even readjusting his junk once or twice. However, learning from the idea of specificity, I knew when emulating him that, if he only readjusted his junk once, for example, I should only do that once in my entire performance - not repeat it several times because it was one of the few things I saw.
• His reactions to the cold. It was a very, very cold day when I viewed him, and he did several things to adjust to the temperature. One was, of course, the pacing. Another was the way he stretched his fingers, opening them and closing them to increase blood flow to his hand. He also sometimes clasped his hands together.
• His weight. This guy was big - much bigger than me. I'd say at least 50 pounds heavier, probably more. Also, he was just a little bit shorter than me. I noticed that, in his slow movements, he held his weight down in his hips. He didn't move his arms much; all of his hand movements only involved the lower arms. I found it quite difficult to perform as him with that much weight, but that challenge was another reason I picked him.
• His voice. Obviously, when I had the conversation with him, I tried to immediately pick up on his accent, which I probably didn't do very successfully, but I didn't talk to him for very long.

In watching other people's performances, what immediately struck me was the small movements that they had all picked up on to emulate - Chris's tapping of the credit card, Taylor's nervous grasping of her wallet, etc. Some of them had done very convincing accents, as well, and of course their general body movements were varied. I thought Zanny performed especially well the speech pattern of the RiteAid manager - the way she was always trying to find common ground with the customer, to please the customer, was realistic and something I come across all the time. And it wasn't just the speech pattern - it came out in her face and her body movements as well. Very well done!

Of course, watching all these people's physical movements, performing as other people, makes me notice my own body movements even more. I have been investigating my own body since I came to CMU, because I know there are things I need to work on. I have grown a LOT in the past two or three years - about 5" - and I am not yet quite comfortable with my height. My posture just absolutely sucks most of the time, and I realized that perhaps it is because I am so skinny - which is why I was working on building my upper body. Working out was improving my posture because I really felt like I took up space as a result of building core muscle, but then I fell skiing. The fall not only broke my thumb, making me unable to do workouts or pushups, but also gave me a chest contusion and strained ligaments in my back. I really haven't felt the same since. I am committed to rehabilitating myself, however, and once my thumb is fully healed I will be back to stretching and exercising daily. I looked at the soles of my shoes and found something that I had already known - I usually walk more on the balls of my feet, hunching my shoulders over my feet and sticking my butt out just slightly. This makes me about 3" shorter, and it is not uncommon for me to suddenly realize I am hunched over, stand up straight, and feel COMPLETELY DIFFERENT as I walk wherever I am going. Seriously, I feel like an entirely new person, which scares me and causes me to hunch back over once I've forgotten. Habits are hard to break, but I know I'll get there.